mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (partay)
I really do want to be better about posting more often, and one way I can do that is by posting about my weekends. There's not a lot of 'Matt Stuff' during the week most weeks. It's paying the bills, doing what needs to be done, and keeping myself sane. So the stuff that's likely to be more interesting to all three of you my dear readers, and to my future self, are these weekend highlights.

Of course, that still would require me to post the information in the first place.

Here goes a speedy recap of the past two weekends:

Friday Feb 4th
Dinner w/ Jill at the Indian Grille. Love that place. We had a good night. A really good night. It still hurt to not be a couple, but that seemed like the first time post break up that things felt otherwise 'right'. I didn't feel like I was treading on egg shells. We talked a lot, and it was the kind (and quality) of talking that I miss terribly. 

That was pretty much it, if memory serves. I believe I headed to 1100 after that and just chilled (probably had an adult beverage or 17 and watching some Netflix or something equally productive).

Saturday Feb 5th
All morning / early afternoon, I spent working as an extra during the filming of Cheap Seats. It's the newest web based comedy series by the guys who brought you the League, the Clink, and others. The weather was a bit brutal, but that crew is a lot of fun, and it was good to do something new and completely different.

Sunday Feb 6th
I'm not a sports guy - not by a long shot. I do, however, enjoy the commercials during the Superb Owl. When some friends invited Jill and I to watch the commercials with them (and get up to get more food when the game was on) we both jumped at the chance. We also brought our friend BrianSansLJ along. Some of you may have already met B, or seen/heard some of the music/awesomeness which he is famous for (like All Night Long (I Wanna Do My Taxes with You)). B is so totally our people, and it was awesome having him there. It didn't hurt that he brought a deep fryer and fried up things like oreos, twinkies, and just about anything else he could get his hands on. Dude seriously brings the awesome.

Monday Feb 7th
Yeah - I know - I said I was going to highlight the weekend stuff, and for the most part, that's true. This event's pretty awesome Matt Stuff though. Basically, every first and third Monday night, the Delaware Art Museum hosts an Open Figure Drawing Studio. This is perfect for me. It's been too long since I got to do some drawing work based on live models, and having it so close, without obligation (no class to sign up for), and so cheap ($5 / 2hr. session) is perfect. As an additional note, I walked to the Museum this time from work on the Riverfront (with a brief stop at 1100). It took about an hour total, wasn't bad, and felt good. Jill dropped the car off at the Museum while I was inside, so I even had the convenience of a ride back to Mark's afterward.

Friday Feb 8th
Stopped to get my hair cut before picking Jill up. The place I normally go is cheap and usually very fast while doing a reasonable job. (It's kinda hard to mess up my haircut - I keep it as simple as I can.) On this particular occasion? 1.25 hours. To cut my hair. I don't have that much hair left. In addition to that? It made me late picking Jill up. Little known secret about [livejournal.com profile] mrlich ? I hate being the limiting factor in anything. Hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. Bad start to the night.

Then, we got to see a bunch of really great folks at Bobby B's Birthday Bonanza. Ok - so maybe it wasn't a Bonanza per se, and maybe I just like alliteration a bit too much. Point is: I hadn't seen a number of these folks since the big break, and it really did me some good to 'touch base'.

When we got back, and I dropped [livejournal.com profile] xtingu  off, we had a slight disagreement which made it clear to me that we're both a little on edge because of the break. We're both nitpicking a bit at things that shouldn't be an issue. Things are generally awesome between us, but when they head south I get annoyed because it's stuff that doesn't feel like it would matter if we were 'under normal circumstances'. We'll get there.

Saturday Feb 9th
More shooting for Cheap Seats in the morning. I just can not wait to see these webisodes. It's sure to be funny as hell if it's got even a pinch of how much fun it was to film.

After Cheap Seats, I headed up to Philly to hang out with [livejournal.com profile] jeremym , [livejournal.com profile] boutell , and LauraSansLJ. We watched Pulp Fiction. We ate Capriotti's Bobbies. There was a Dog. Life was good. I lerv my peeps.

I passed on going to Dr. Sketchy's. This pained me just slightly to do, but I was really enjoying myself with the peeps, and I didn't want to get up half way through the movie and go. Besides - there will be more of them. Did any of you go?

Sunday Feb 10th
Had brunch with Jill this morning and then we hit Target. That second part was a mistake. We both left the chaos of that place ready to destroy all human life. Neither of us does super well in crowds. When those crowds are made up of the completely ignorant? Our respective patience levels drop rapidly.  Dropped Jill off and hung out briefly while she waited for a caffein freak out or blood sugar thing to abate. Now I'm back at 1100.

I'm trying to get a couple odds and ends wrapped up here this afternoon before I head up to the LV to look into an auto loan / the purchase of a 2000 Honda Civic so that I can hand off the car to Jill and get her some mobility, and myself a little sanity. I took off tomorrow to deal with car stuff.

All in all, I'd say that the last couple of weekends have been pretty good / productive.
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (mirror)
We know our friends and family have some questions about our breakup, so we wrote this together to explain some stuff. It will be posted on both of our journals.

The details of our breakup are naturally very personal, but we thought we owed everyone some kind of an explanation. We also wanted to give you ideas on how you can help.

Details behind the cut. Click here. )

We are 100% committed to zero drama, both for our new relationship and for our relationship with our awesome friends and family. We will keep any awkwardness to ourselves.

We are realistic and we know this will require major holy-crap levels of adjustment for us. We know it is not going to be easy, but we're ready for the challenge.

The overwhelming outpouring of support from all of you has made this much easier for both of us. It does us a lot of good to know that we have such amazing people who want to help see us through this.


So, thanks, troops. We love you, and we really, really appreciate your love, support, and good ju-ju.

Love, Matt and Jill
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (cloak_and_dagger)
No - really - it's a meme about my relationship with [personal profile] xtingu. I highly recommend you turn back now. 
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (mirror)
Warning: EXTREME mushiness ahead. If you are 'put off' by men gushing over their women - I recommend moving on to someone else's post.

Jill and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary as some of you may have noticed. I got to thinking about that fact and it caused the following post:


I love and miss my girlfriend.

Why do I miss her? Well let's see:

[]She's smart - Hind sight is always 20/20 right? Well in the past I think that it's safe to say that I've never dated a dumb girl. Hell, I'm sure that most of the women I've dated have been far above the mean. Ah - but there's just something about a woman who's ridiculously bright. It's sexy. It's fun to talk to them. They keep you on your toes. They help make you a better person through the simple and fun act of conversation. 

[]She's beautiful - Have you seen her eyes? You could swim in them for days and not care about finding your way out. 

[]She's fun - I get to be a kid around her. I don't have to feel all stuffy and 'politically correct' all the time. She lets me let loose. What's more? She joins in. She makes me feel like one of the cool kids. 

[]She's interesting - robots, birds, big dogs, computers, good food, greasy spoons, and so many other interests - each more intriguing than the last. She makes me feel like we're exploring life - together. That's one hell of a great feeling. 

[]She's funny - I laugh when I'm with her. This really couldn't be more important in a life mate. I don't think that I understood that before - at least not on this level. Laughing makes you feel good. It makes the crap in life seem distant and just not as important. It makes you feel like you can do anything. 

[]She builds me up - she's amazingly good at lifting my spirits. She shows me the things that I'm good at which I would all-too quickly dismiss on my own. She makes me feel adept. 

[]She makes me feel needed - when I'm with her I see the ways in which I am useful to the world. This is a new feeling for me. I feel the appreciation of not only her, but of others around us when I do something. She helps me to see and feel these things in a way I'm quite certain I wouldn't on my own. 

[]She's Good - She's better to others than she is to herself. She doesn't always see it that way, but she is. She worries about other people's feelings and how she affects them. She is a kind person. 

I could go on, but I'm supposed to be working here, so I think I'll call that list 'the short version' and move on.

I guess I could summarize by saying:
She's amazing, she makes me feel amazing, and when I'm with her I know that I am part of something absolutely and irrefutably amazing.

I couldn't be more thankful than I am to have someone like her in my life.
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
The weekend thus far (rather than the weekend in review- for a change):

Friday:
Immediately following work, I rode to drop off a movie and pick up (rent) the DVD collection of Brisco County Jr.. I remember it being a fun series and Bruce Campbell s kinda a personal hero. What's more, it makes better sense than full blown movies for 'workout entertainment' as they're only one hour shows each episode, so I'm not working out for a half hour or an hour and then sitting for another hour to an hour and a half.

After picking up Bruce's misadventures, I headed back to the house where I met up with [profile] lotusanddragon  . We headed over to [personal profile] shellefly  's place to pick her up and than to Philly to assist in the celebrating of [personal profile] jeremym  's birthday at North Bowl. The place rocks - there's just no two ways about it. Great music, the drinks flow, and the lanes are clean and well maintained. That's one hell of a combination.

After bowling, the rest of the gang which included [personal profile] ms_violet  , [personal profile] boutell  , and many more (whose lj names I can't recall because I suck) headed somewhere for a drink, but [profile] lotusanddragon   and I headed back to the house since he still had to pack for his trip to Japan. We did that (I kept him company while he did it really) and got a chance for the first time in a long time to just shoot the shit. It was a grand time. We even had a mini-adventure taking a quick trip to his office for some forgotten info while K-T (who doesn't have LJ) read some of the end of the last Harry Potter book to us via my cell phone's speakerphone function. Then a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee, a moment where I broke his world a little by introducing him to the 'omg shoes' video, some chill time up on the deck, and the limo service was there to take him to the airport. It really kinda felt like the perfect way to send my bro off to another country. I sacked out afterward to some long overdue sleep.

Saturday:
Saturday morning I woke late (figured I earned it) and headed to [profile] jafosmite  's concert with X-Fusion at the 100th Annual Arden Fair. I took the Yamaha, and it was a damn good thing - the place was mobbed. I managed to find a completely illegal convenient parking space, locked up the scoot, and headed straight for where I hear the boys getting ready. The show rocked hard, though there's little surprise there. It was fun watching an all new batch of folks rockin out to X-Fusion's music. I was a little disappointed by the fact that the fair closed supah early, so I only had time to do a quick 'fly through' after the show, but I'm betting that's a good thing in the long run as I need to keep all the cash I can these days.

After the fair, I headed to good ol' Barnes and Noble for some time to do some writing, screw around, and browse the newest batch of 'how to draw' books and magazines. This is something that I haven't done in a while, and I missed it. It's something that I enjoy both with friends or alone. When I'm by myself, it's almost like meditation. I can people watch, get my thoughts in order, and often be inspired. I was impressed by my ability to not buy any of the new art books/magazines. Almost, but I managed to put them back. Really, it's not like I would use them - not in any real way. Most art books are great, but they wind up being more or less inspiration sources and that's about it. While I was sitting and parusing my latest batch of books and magazines, I got a phone call from [personal profile] xtingu  . Being a spaz, I went instantly into high alert mode - she was supposed to be out on the playa, and that would mean without cell phone reception of any kind at all. She assured me that nothing was wrong but that she 'just wasn't feeling it' this year and that she was homeward bound and would keep me posted on her travel plans. She said she missed me. I'm a lucky bastard like that. I stayed at B&N pretty late and went home. Once back at the house, I started working on one of the images that I got stuck in my head while at the bookstore and when I realized that it was almost 2am I hit the sack - I had a big day coming up.

Sunday:
Woke up fairly early, but not early enough. I had planned to ride with [profile] burningkirby  , Lee (sans lj), and Ballz (also sans lj). However, as I am the planning master, I didn't have any of their phone numbers and I was having net connectivity issues (I had Ballz's street address in my email account). I did finally get connected, but the whole process delayed me enough that I got to Ballz's place about 15 minutes later than planned and I hate being the limiting factor. We made our way via back roads to [profile] burningkirby  's compound where we gathered up [profile] burningkirby   and Lee and after some very minor repairs to [profile] burningkirby  's bike, we headed out. It was the perfect morning for a ride. Cool but not cold. Bright and sunny and just... frickin... gorgeous. miles melted past under our wheels as we rolled west into PA. If I can convince Ballz to send me a copy of our route, maybe I'll post it later. What a great run. I broke the 600 mile mark since buying the Yamaha with ease.

After our ride we stopped back at [profile] burningkirby  's place and had some snackages. Then off to Lee's and then I headed back to B&N. Yes, back to B&N. I've decided that I'm a creature of habit. Once I find something I like, I tend to stick with it until I find the next thing that I like. While there I got some more stuff done both in the writing and the creativity departments.

While I was at B&N, [personal profile] xtingu   called to let me know that she had landed and asked if I could meet her at her apartment. I said sure, packed up my gear, and headed over. We arrived at almost identical times, and commenced a good old fashioned 're-connect' kind of night. We were visited albeit briefly by [profile] theseitz   who showed us his supah sexy new iPhone. We sacked out shortly thereafter.

Monday:
We woke up a bit late and had some more really amazing reconnect time. It had been a while since [personal profile] xtingu   and I had the chance to talk more than "Hi - how's the weather?" Okay - I'm exagerating, but you get the point. We'd let our 'life stuff' kinda keep us so focussed that we hadn't spent much time just talking. We'd both missed it terribly and this time (Sunday night and Monday morning) really scratched that itch.

Next, we hopped on the bike and headed up to [personal profile] swingchickie  's place for the afternoon and got some more hang time with the good peeps. [personal profile] swingchickie   and Jack, [personal profile] jeremym   (and the always awesome JD), [personal profile] boutell   and Jenny, [profile] opadit   and Steve, [personal profile] ms_violet   and Vince, and of course [personal profile] xtingu   and myself. Jack manned the grill and [personal profile] xtingu   brought some corn salsa that was muy muy yummy.

Then, of course, there were donuts.

Now, [personal profile] xtingu   and I have come back to her place, she's on the phone with her folks and I'm wrapping up what was started as a "weekend up to this post" but has become a "weekend in review".

Hope you had a weekend as awesome as mine!
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
You know something? I've always found it funny how deeply movies seem to affect me. Tonight, on the long ride home from Va., Jimmy let me watch movies on his laptop. Two, in fact. It had been a very long time (for me anyway) since I had just sat down and watch a movie. Or two.

The two in question for the evening? Well, the first, I had actually already seen, but knew to be fun - Hitch starring Will Smith and the ever stunning Eva Mendes. Corny? Yes. Hoaky even? Absolutely. But I enjoyed it immensely.

The second? Equally cheesy, and at least as 'bad' - but these are the things I love - Click starring Adam Sandler. It's basically a re-telling of It's a Wonderful Life, if you ask me, but it really kinda did move me. It caused me to start thinking about the changes that I've seen in myself since I moved to De. and to the direction of my life. Not in the catastrophic sense that the movie portends, but rather in a 'watch the pendulum doesn't swing too far there Capt. Extremist' way.

Yes, I realize that I wasn't really in any danger of becoming a 'workaholic' or anything like that. Perhaps it would be better to say that it was what I needed to re-focus on the plus side of my life and re-notice all the amazing gifts that I have been given. Every day.

If you are reading this? I want to thank you for being a part of that.

/end Cornball
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
Been feeling too big for my skin lately.Bumping into things and just not fitting in spaces that I should.Feel like a teenager.:(
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
So I like to flatter myself by thinking that I keep a pretty neutral eye on the world. I understand that I am often a moody guy and that colors many people's view of a given moment in time, but I fancy myself above that. I like to think that - given my (cursed) ability to 'walk a mile in someone else's shoes' I tend to see things with a fairly unbiased mind.

I would like to point out here that I am not, under any circumstances, trying to say that I react neutrally to all situations and experiences - simply that I see them so.

Is this naive of me? Is it ignorant to think that I am the rare exception to the rule here? Am I not alone? Do you (either of the two or so folks who read this ;) ) think that you're able to see the world this way?

Here's the simple truth: I think that I'm being foolish. I think that I do have a greater propensity for not allowing personal bias to color my view of a given experience, but that this isn't enough. "Better than most people" does not equal "the ability to be unbiased". I think that I am swayed by my personal opinions.

Okay, you're thinking, so what's so earth shattering about this?

Absolutely nothing. I'm just thinking 'out loud' as it were.
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
here I am again - trying to kick my own ass and get some work done.

lots of ideas - little time to finish any of them.

grrrrrrrrrr.......


on the plus side- I ran into Don last night at the diner - hadn't seen him in waaaaaaaaay long (read as: before the holidays). I was very happy to hear that he moved back into the area.

Supposed to do coffee with Karen tonight. Maybe we should switch to Crock Rock since that's where Linda and Chris will be?!
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
In attendance tonight:

Mark, Katie, Krishna, Margaret, Ian, Elizabeth, Wes, Doug, and myself.

On the way:

Jeanine and Jill.

Life is good. I love these people. I love the way that they make me feel. This is the family that I have chosen for myself, and I have to say that I am more than a little proud of my selection.

More later.
mrlich: Photo with great thanks to Joe del Tufo - http://www.deltufophotography.com (Default)
I called off yesterday, but went into work today. I am not completely better, by any means, but I was getting stir-crazy enough that I decided to go in anyway.

I'll probably be out again tomorrow - they're calling for some really shitty weather, and we don't have a whole lot of work right now.

Did I mention that I hate being sick?

talking with my friend Jason about my future. you know something? it seems like I spend an inordinate amount of time talking with my friends and family about my future. I wish that there was some quicker way to get folks to stop worrying about me. I mean - I always have some new scheme or 'sure fire' money maker, but of course (as such things are want to do) they don't pan out.

And so, folks continue to worry about me. It sucks. I would like to (just for once) have folks just like the way I am, and see the world the way that I do. I don't think that I begrudge anyone or anything for my life, and it almost seems like that's what folks think that I am doing. It feels like people see me as saying "well, this didn't work out because of this guy, or that situation" - as though I am making excuses.

I don't really feel like that. I realize that I have had a lot of failures and not a whole lot of successes, but when I explain the reasons for the failures, I don't really feel like I am making excuses - I'm just EXPLAINING what happened.

I feel like I'm supposed to be living up to someone else's expectation of who and what I am. Which isn't really a problem, because I think that we all feel that in one sense or another. The problem comes from the fact that I seem to be falling dramatically short of that expectation - not with regards to a single individual, but with everyone I know.

It's as though they all see something in me that I don't see in myself. It's a strange feeling really. Imagine drowning without knowing that you're drowning. No, come to think of it - that's not really accurate. Better this: you're drowning, and you know you're drowning, but you're not scared, you're not panicked, you feel no pain or trauma, and you only stress when you see those you care about surrounding you and trying to keep you afloat.

Wow. Now I am depressed.

Does that happen to you? Do you talk yourself into depression? Seems to be a habit of mine. It's almost as though I should keep myself busy just so I don't have time to think.

Hmmm.. think that I will try to go and get some work done - maybe that will cheer me up a little.

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