mrlich | (no subject)

Spring is here. Here in a big way. Today it reallllly hit me for the first time. I guess the best word for it is 'randy' - but that doesn't feel right.

Hmmm...

I want to fuck like my life depends on it.
I want to scream until my throat bleeds.
I want to punch - I want to crush.
I want to drink until I can't stand up.
I want to swing something heavy and break something delicate.
I don't feel angry at all.
I feel like I think that norse warriors must have felt.

I want to live without hesitation or remorse. I want to be a god.

I want to see a woman look up at me with an expression which says even she's not sure whether she's in pain or the greatest pleasure she's ever known.
I want a man to look up at me with an expression that tells me he knows he's beaten - and then I want to hit him again because it's my godforsaken right.

I'm no small man, and I repress that fact in almost every way almost every day.

On days like this - when the wolf is smashing against the walls of his cage - I am terrified.

I have the chills as I write this and I am anything but cold.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I love this entry.
It's so passionate.

first - wow - that was fast - I just posted.

second - thanks. it really is kinda scarey sometimes - the feelings that well up. glad you liked it.

I read LJ backwards - so last posted = first read.
And I read quickly.

It's the scary feelings that really matter.
The rest is paste and sham, but we need the paste and sham to keep ourselves from exploding.

well said.

there is, however, a large portion of me that actually likes the paste and sham. it's something I can count on. it's something I can plan with.

dunno - I guess they're sides of a coin or facets of a stone. whatever the case I know that I can't have one without the other. doesn't mean that I have to like it. ;)