(no subject)

[mrlich]

Spring is here. Here in a big way. Today it reallllly hit me for the first time. I guess the best word for it is 'randy' - but that doesn't feel right.

Hmmm...

I want to fuck like my life depends on it.
I want to scream until my throat bleeds.
I want to punch - I want to crush.
I want to drink until I can't stand up.
I want to swing something heavy and break something delicate.
I don't feel angry at all.
I feel like I think that norse warriors must have felt.

I want to live without hesitation or remorse. I want to be a god.

I want to see a woman look up at me with an expression which says even she's not sure whether she's in pain or the greatest pleasure she's ever known.
I want a man to look up at me with an expression that tells me he knows he's beaten - and then I want to hit him again because it's my godforsaken right.

I'm no small man, and I repress that fact in almost every way almost every day.

On days like this - when the wolf is smashing against the walls of his cage - I am terrified.

I have the chills as I write this and I am anything but cold.

Comments

[mrlich.livejournal.com]

first - wow - that was fast - I just posted.

second - thanks. it really is kinda scarey sometimes - the feelings that well up. glad you liked it.

[shellefly.livejournal.com]

I read LJ backwards - so last posted = first read.
And I read quickly.

It's the scary feelings that really matter.
The rest is paste and sham, but we need the paste and sham to keep ourselves from exploding.

[mrlich.livejournal.com]

well said.

there is, however, a large portion of me that actually likes the paste and sham. it's something I can count on. it's something I can plan with.

dunno - I guess they're sides of a coin or facets of a stone. whatever the case I know that I can't have one without the other. doesn't mean that I have to like it. ;)