(no subject)

[mrlich]

I've noticed that I am a creature of habit. And my habits are cyclical. I feel like I am constantly evolving, but there is also some repetitiveness to me.

I need time away. And by away I mean 'by myself'.

Which is, of course, strange as I am a rather social creature. I like my friends and family. I like spending time with them. I like doing stuff with them all.

On more than one occasion, however, I have said that I am like a rechargeable battery. The more I deal with people, the faster that charge wears out. When that happens, I need to go back to the woods to recharge.

I haven't been back to the woods in a loooong time.

At least not in the way I really need to.

I have someone who's important to me, and yet I doubt highly that she thinks of me as much more than a friend with some benefits. I don't think that this really has much to do with the current topic, but these little rants of mine are kinda 'scream of consciousness' so roll with me here folks.

That's a really frustrating thing (the friend - not the rant), so maybe it has an effect- just not a real obvious one.

Whatever the case, I need to go away. It doesn't need to be far. It certainly doesn't need to be expensive, but it needs to happen. I'm becoming miserable to deal with. Maybe not like some folks. It's not like people can't stand to be around me... yet. But I see it and I hear it. I understand that twitch in someone's voice when they're talking to me and they've grown frustrated with my responses. I get it when someone shifts uncomfortably as I talk about my plans for the future.

I have been told on more than one occasion that I am 'hyper sensitive'. It's a blessing and a curse, but usually I just see it as a curse. I allow for a margin of error mind you, but I generally go with my gut since 9 times out of 10 it ends up being right. Hey - I've got plenty of gut, so it's gotta be good for something!

I'm likely to withdraw soon. I may not answer phone calls or emails. Then again - I might (I sometimes confound even myself). But those of you who know me best will likely feel it the most. You might begin to wonder if you did something to offend.

You didn't. That's why I'm writing this. Kinda like advance warning.

The plus side? Usually when I do withdraw from folks, I tend to be more productive with my writing/drawing. Stay tuned True Believers - I'll post here when there are updates.

Take care and be well - all three of you who were crazy enough to read this through to the end. ;)

Comments

[xtingu]

We're cut from the same cloth, beb. This recharging is so vital to my existence. When I don't get the recharge time, I can feel my sanity slipping.

Take the time you need, we'll be here. :-)

[shellefly.livejournal.com]

Be well, make much art.
And come back and play when you're ready!

[mrlich.livejournal.com]

We're cut from the same cloth, beb.

Oh, I don't know that I would go that far. You seem more like a satin, or better - silk. Me? More like burlap.

But I'm flattered that you might think so. ;)

I would very much like to attend one of your concerts one of these days. (Now that I'm in the mood to withdraw I point this out... )